Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark is the 20th episode of Season 1, and the 20th episode overall. Plot Jake is dropped by Judith at the beach house, and is being in a sulky mood. Judith tells Alan that she believes his bad mood is his way of reacting to his parent's divorce and was suggested by her therapist that Jake has not been processing his emotions in a healthy way, and should see a psychiatrist. Whilst in a casual relationship with a woman named Vicki, Charlie runs out of patience with Jake’s loud guitar tune. Berta suggests that he might be constipating, but the brothers reject the theory. Jake refuses to talk about his troubles to either of the brothers, and they decide to let him have his time, but they ultimately grow out of patience, and when Evelyn turns up they make her talk to him, which only makes the matters worse. Alan, Charlie and Judith take Jake to Dr. Linda Freeman, a child psychiatrist. Jake’s session with her is fruitless, and she tells the elders that he wouldn’t tell her anything that’s bothering him, and only when she pushed him to try talking about his problems, finally cursed her in Spanish; which he learned from Charlie. Judith blames Charlie for the way her son's behaving and Charlie disagrees with her leading to an argument between them. Charlie tells Judith that he's only trying to keep Jake form turning into his brother and this insults Alan, causing them to start fighting. Dr. Linda Freeman puts a stop all three arguments with a talking cow puppet, demonstrating that "even cows know words can hurt". Later that night, Judith, Alan and Charlie sit down with Jake at the family dinner table to talk with him. Judith and Alan assure Jake that they will always love him no matter what and their splitting up had nothing to do with Jake. Jake assures them that he knows he's not the reason for their splitting up and is irritated because of this. Judith reminds him that "Mommy has a right to be happy" and Alan is irritated by this and quiets her down, reminding her that both him and Jake are already aware of her reason. Charlie then asks Jake if whatever's bothering that Charlie had nothing to do with it. Jake assures his uncle that he's not to blame for his problems and Charlie points to Alan and Judith confirming to the both of them that Charlie's not at fault for Jake's problems. Jake then asks if he could go to sleep already. Alan and Judith are surprised by his need to sleep early as it was only 7:00. Jake tells them that he is tired and they both agree to let him go to sleep early while Judith tells him she'll be in later to tuck him in bed. As Jake runs out of the kitchen to his room, Judith and Alan become worried by this as they know that going to sleep early is not usually routine of his expect for school and believe that his desired need for sleep and running away is a sign of clinical depression. Charlie points out that only Judith would know the signs of clinical depression and Judith becomes irked by this. The next day, Jake behaviour returns to his normal cheerful self. Berta then tells the brothers that she made Jake drink Prune-Juice, and his sulky mood was indeed because he was constipating. Cast *Charlie Sheen *Jon Cryer *Angus T. Jones *Marin Hinkle *Holland Taylor Quotes Scene 1 *'Evelyn:' Granted, I have no idea what's it like to be an eleven-year-old boy, but I do know one thing, sweetheart. You have no idea what real unhappiness is. Real unhappiness is being totally ignored by the very people you gave birth to! Real unhappiness is when you're recovering from liposuction and your only grandson doesn't even send you a get-well card. And FYI, I only had that surgery so you wouldn't have a grandmommy with matronly upper arms. *'Alan:' Well, if he didn't need a shrink before, he needs one now. Scene 2 is upbeat after several days of being sullen *'Alan:' What happened to him? *'Charlie:' If I didn't know better, I'd swear he got laid last night. *'Berta:' I hope you don't mind, but I talked to him before he went to sleep last night. *'Alan: '''What did you say? *'Berta: '''I said: "Drink this bottle of prune juice". You feed him nothing but pizza and pancakes! It's a wonder his eyeballs are still in their sockets. Guest Starring *Jane Lynch as Dr. Linda Freeman Trivia *This is the first appearance of Linda Freeman. * Rose does not appear in this episode. Title quotation from Alan after Charlie discovers he saw a therapist as a child. Category:Episodes Category:Season 1